Armed With An Iron Mind
Once upon a time, we were meant to be.

First post on this blog thing. It’s been a while since I’ve written publicly about anything really personal. Almost a year since my last public post and over six months since I wrote anything privately. So a lot has happened since then. I guess I’ll start from the beginning of the year and give you a quick summary of what I’ve been going through since then.

Well back in January I was working for a beverage distributor in Pompano Beach. I was making the best money I’ve ever made and it looked to be a steady job and I was definitely in line to be promoted. My best friend Brett was basically my boss and I busted my ass for that company. Anyways, some sketchy stuff started to go down within the company. People started getting let go and by February 21st we were all laid off. The company was closing. I went a month being unemployed. Got a part time job with Red Bull who I have worked for before, for about 2 years back before I started touring heavily. Being that it was only part time on the weekends I needed to get a second job and luckily I have some friends that work for Vans at the Aventura mall. So between both jobs I managed. I was kinda seeing someone at the time. Not really though. We basically just hooked up a couple times but nothing ever came of it. I guess I was just someone to help pass the time. Oh well. That ended around the same time I lost my job. Next.

I got promoted at Red Bull within weeks because of my experience there. I became the Utility Specialist there. Basically just fancy words for the cooler delivery guy. I deliver big coolers to grocery stores, convenience stores, and gas stations. I make decent money but it’s not as much as I used to make which has made paying bills and having a life a lot harder. But I’ve managed the best I could. Work kept me pretty busy. There were a couple of different girls that I talked to. But everyone that I connected with lived too far away. Then in June I started talking to someone that lived in the same state and we hit it off pretty quickly.

Not going to put too much detail on here because it’s in the past but we dated for a couple months seeing each other when we could. Things developed fast and a lot of serious things were talked about. It was all going really well but some things from the past came up in her life that she needed to deal with and I basically stepped aside and let her figure her things out. So things between us ended a few weeks ago. It’s been tough adjusting to not having that person there every day and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t miss her. But with each day it gets a little easier. I did everything I could to make it work but sometimes its just not meant to be. We haven’t really spoken much since then. We will catch up and make sure we are both doing ok once in a while but it’s not the same as it used to be obviously. I know I’ll be ok in the long run and I will always care about her. Bad timing I guess. It usually is with me.

I’ve had a few really good friends who have been there for me since then. I’ve been trying to stay busy and just focus on getting my life together. Financially I’ve hit some rough spots. Because of the month I didn’t work, and unemployment only being so much, I started to get behind on bills. Then about a month ago my car engine blew. I had no choice but to fix it which ended up costing over five grand. Making my financial situation even worse. So for the past couple weeks I’ve struggled to pay my bills and it’s really stressed me out. If I didn’t have the people I have behind me encouraging me to keep going and telling me it’ll get better, I don’t know where I’d be. I’ve felt so defeated and have wanted to just give up so many times and they’ve kept me going. So thanks to those people. In the end I decided I’d have to make some changes. The first one I came up with was moving down to Miami into my grandmothers empty apartment. She lives with my aunt now so they were going to rent out the apartment after my cousin and her family moved out but they are remodeling it and then I’m going to move in. Free rent and all I have to pay for is utilities. That’s definitely going to help out a lot with getting some money saved up again. I got pretty lucky with that situation. It still sucks because I am not really a fan of Miami. I have lived in Broward county most of my life. Other than the brief stint in Orlando and Delray Beach, I’ve been in Coral Springs and Fort Lauderdale the rest of the time. So moving to Miami is gonna be tough. But it is closer to work and its free so I can’t really pass it up.

I’ll be moving at the end of September. It’ll be just me and Isla in the new place. I guess it’ll be kinda cool to have my own place without roommates. I can decorate the way I want, a true bachelor pad. My goal is to save as much money as I can, pay off whatever debt I have, and hopefully find a place near the beach. I’ve always wanted to live on the beach somewhere. I know it’ll be a while before I can afford it but that’s my long term goal.

I haven’t been playing much music lately which bums me out. Brett moved to Orlando so we haven’t really been able to keep up with the bands. Lowpoint is playing Bringing It Back For The Kids fest. That’ll be cool to get back into playing again. Hopefully I’ll be able to get something together for fun. Playing drums keeps me sane. Not playing lately is probably part of the reason I’ve been going crazy.

The olympics have occupied most of my time. I come home after work and watch whatever is on most days. Have become interested in a lot of new sports. I’ve been cooking at home more. Learning new recipes and trying to eat better. Haven’t eaten fast food in almost a week. If you know me, you know thats something to be proud of. As soon as my back starts to feel better, I’m gonna start getting into shape again. I haven’t had the motivation to do it till now. I guess something finally clicked inside of me.

Overall I’m trying to stay positive with everything that has hit me in the past few months. Now that I’m making some changes I’m starting to feel better about myself. I know that everything is going to get better soon and I’m proud of myself for keeping it together. People have come and gone, shown their true colors, and I’ve let them leave. The people that have stayed mean the world to me. I am happy with who I am and how I’ve grown. I keep learning new things about myself every day. I actually feel like an adult now. Only took 26 years. Just trying to get everything together the best I can. I know one day I’m gonna find the person that appreciates my big heart and wants to give me theirs in return. Until that day I guess I’ll have to keep putting myself out there and hoping for the best. Focusing on getting my own things together and letting life play out the way it’s meant to. All I can do is what’s best for me and that’s what I’m gonna do. I’ve been too unselfish for far too long. It’s my time now. I deserve to be happy and I will be.

New writing blog

I made a new blog just for writing. Going back and looking through all the other posts on my other one just took too long. So I’ll use this one for writing and that one for everything else. I will update this very soon.

Armed With An Iron Mind (Writing Blog)

A Positive Perspective (Everything Blog)